And eleven years later, I saw her again.
She came to my house in the canadian ‘burbs. We drank a bottle of wine. Talked talked talked talked talked until I started falling asleep on the couch because I get up at 6:20am.
She’d found me on Facebook.
The last time I saw her was in Sydney, Australia. It was summer. It was muggy and sweaty and foggy. We had started the night with a bong, went to the pub at Kings Cross and had drinks. There was a strip club in there somewhere – not the blonde and northhollywoodish type of Vancouver, but a truly depressing place with a heroin junkie with tracks down her arms sliding back and forth across the stage, completely out of it. Then we snorted speed in the bathroom and went to a club. I tell you this because I want to show how totally and utterly off my tits I was.
At the club, we had ecstacy. Or maybe we had the e before the speed, the mind is foggy. We were surrounded by these british guys we’d picked up somewhere. One of them was there playing football. It was fun to turn them on. We had the Power. We decided to kiss. They groaned. One of them said “I fucking love Australia”.
There was more drugs somewhere in there. I didn’t wonder how she had so many.
The thing is, back then, she was sex on a stick. People ordinarily think of genius as something dry and academic, or male. She was a sex genius, by which I mean, it was all around her, like a Force. You know how some people are just MORE? They’re just more than the average person. Well, she was more than the average when it came to sex. Men, women. Many fell for her.
The next morning, we’re coming down. It’s bright hot outside already, even though it’s only around 8am. She goes in to kiss me again. But I’m not off-tits anymore. She pulls back. We both know I’m not into women. It’s clear. It’s over. I’m not bi. Aaaalrighty then.
I kissed a girl,
and if I wasn’t so wasted,
I’m pretty sure I would have hated it.
That would be my song.
I don’t understand people who think homosexuality is a choice. If it was a choice, why couldn’t I have chosen it? But the body said No. The body said, it’s all about men for you, no matter if they’re assholes, that’s what you’re into.
She became unreliable after that. I was going into my rigid judgemental phase. We lost touch. 11 years later, she told me she got more seriously into the drugs. She was a dealer. She lost other friends. She was so happy I was willing to meet up with her again.
And I told her that I was a rigid cow who was dealing with everything in black and white. I had no tolerance. But, I was over that now.
IT’s the friendship I least expected to be resurrected.
